DNA Tests and our Gremlins
I was speaking with a client who had an DNA test site experience that shed an enormous light on how much nonsense about ourselves we invent out of nowhere, when it comes to our self-judgments, self-doubts and gremlins.
My client felt all her life that she was different, in some significant ways, than everyone else in her family. She felt like a bit of an outcast, like she didn’t fit in. She created a number of self-judgements (all negative ones) about why that was. Mostly, she cast herself as not being good enough in many ways. What else, other than some character flaw, could explain how different she was from her own family?
Then, along came her test results from a DNA test site. She'd sent in her DNA sample and was anxiously awaiting her report. The report showed that the man who raised her, who she thought was her father, was not. So it turns out that she wasn’t that different from her biological origins at all. No character flaw, no faults. Perhaps she was perfectly aligned with her biological father.
“What a relief!” Since then she has been so much more self-understanding and forgiving and able to appreciate her own gifts. How interesting it is that she made up a whole different story about her differences. DNA evidence now shows her that that story was total fiction.
Appreciate your gifts. What does it take for us to do that and to stop making up stories about ourselves that disempower us? We don’t have to find out we have a different parent than we thought for us to do that. The point is we interpret our circumstances and make up stories about them that we think are true. We even think we have evidence to support the story yet most often the story still isn’t the Truth. How do we know when our interpretation or story isn’t the Truth? If it limits you in some way, you can discard it and create a new one.
Now, some may say “What if I don’t know the Truth? I can’t create a truthful story if I don’t know the Truth!” EXACTLY! You created the first one without knowing the Truth too! If we’re not content relying on the new story because we don’t know if it’s Truth, then perhaps it makes sense not to rely on the old one either, since that also probably isn’t Truth.
We make it up anyway, so why not make up one that empowers you instead of one that disempowers you! :-)
What stories are you making up about yourself that you can start to recreate so that they serve you?
Please feel free to share your thoughts below.
Can you relate to this? Do you have a story about yourself that limits you that you would like to rewrite so you can start living the life you’re meant to live? Find out by booking a complimentary strategy session with me. I’d love the opportunity to make a difference for you.